What No One Tells New Grads About Crisis Communication (And Life)
What I tell my clients in crisis—and my kids when they’re stepping into real life.
Last week, like many parents, I watched my child walk across a stage to receive a college degree. She was ecstatic (thank you for capturing the moment, @loyola_alumni); I was relieved, happy, proud, and in tears. My summa cum laude graduate loved college, clearly. I kept hearing the same question on campus that day: Are you…Kate’s mom?
“I am!” I always said with a smile. (Then immediately resisted the urge to launch into a full-blown mom-terrogation: Did you know her well? Party with her? Was she respectful to professors? Did she seem like someone who had a loving, involved mother?)
And like any proud parent gathering around a quad this month, I’ve been contemplating what it means to stand on the brink of the world right now. Not just on the brink of a job—but on the brink of adulthood, where the real world is pressuring the pandemic class of 2025 to perform and to figure oneself out, often using social media where reputations are made (and destroyed in the click of an eye.).
Enter the list. The “mom’s life lessons” list my four kids have heard me pull from throughout their lives, whether they wished for it or not. I also refer to segments of the list when coaching leaders through their worst moments. The folks who call me when things go sideways. They don’t need a pep talk from me; they need the truth. A clear path, some calm reassurance that they won’t capsize, and a retrofitted plan to get them back on track.
This is the list I gave my daughter.
But it’s for anyone walking into a first job—or a next chapter—in life, where how you carry yourself matters just as much as what you know.
1. Don’t let emotion drive the car.
If I’ve learned one thing at this stage in life, defensiveness interferes with good decisions. Every time. The calmer person wins the battle. That’s true in crisis, and it’s true in life. If you feel yourself spiraling into but they did this…, take a breath. Then another one. Name what you’re feeling, then name what the other person is feeling. It’s likely insecurity. Then re-center. No one else gets to hold you emotionally hostage.
2. Keep your hands clean.
Hard work pays off. Shortcuts backfire. Always. And in a digital world, the receipts will surface. Reputations are easier to lose than they are to build. Ethical corners aren’t worth cutting—not in work, not in life.
3. Know what makes you magnetic.
Your degree is a credential. But your value is rooted in what draws people to you. That’s your leverage. Pay attention to the compliments you brush off—people are trying to tell you what they see. Listen.
4. Be seen, but stay real.
There’s nothing wrong with being visible—especially if you’re in a field where reputation is the currency. But fake gets spotted fast. Don’t manufacture a version of yourself just to post it. Be someone you’d want to follow in real life.
5. Discretion is power.
If you can keep a secret, people will trust you. Gossip is a released pressure valve, not a reputation strategy. Pick your people, be clear about boundaries, and remember—your romantic partner is not your gossip friend. They’re your mirror. And they’re listening closely.
6. Ask for help—but do it strategically.
People want to help. But they want to help people who are trying. Don’t just take—offer credit, give context, and build relationships that work both ways. Generosity and gratitude go hand in hand.
7. Help others—but not at your own expense.
Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. Protect your energy. If helping is draining you dry, it’s time to pause. “No” is a complete sentence. So is “not right now.”
8. Outsmart. Don’t outrage.
Revenge gives you five minutes of relief at best. But clarity and control last longer. You will live to regret putting that person on full blast. As a crisis manager, I’ve sat through many strategy calls thinking if you only put down that phone, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. If someone burns you—wait. Let them reveal themselves. I promise you, they will.
9. Look for accountability—and offer it too.
Strong people own their mistakes. Weak ones deflect. My framework for crisis response is simple: Own it. Explain it. Promise it. Accountability builds trust. In life and in brand reputation. Blame is a rep killer.
10. Fear is behind every bad decision.
Arrogance. Ghosting. Passive-aggression. Gaslighting. It’s usually always fear in disguise. Don’t take it personally. It’s their baggage to carry, not yours. Just don’t absorb it either.
11. Your brain runs in sprints.
An executive functioning coach shared life changing advice with me, the brain can only work in 90-minute blocks. At the 91-minute mark, the brain runs dry. Rest is rewarded. Structure your day around your brain.
12. Don’t settle.
Not in work. Not in love. Not in how you’re treated. Boundaries aren’t rude. They’re guardrails. If someone punishes you for setting one, that’s your sign.
13. Remember what you survived.
To the Class of 2025 —the pandemic generation. Don’t let anyone label you as weak or lazy. You adapted, you adjusted, and you got it done. Own that resilience. And use it. However, watch for entitlement. Don’t expect people to pick up after you, literally. This month, there are a lot of moms helping their kids move out of dorms judging the roommates who left garbage and food in the dorm refrigerators. The life you are entering is filled with people ready to lift you—but many who will judge you, too. Embrace former, but learn from the latter.
Congratulations! I’m wishing you all the best as you enter the real world.
Welcome; we’re glad to have you.
If you want to hear more about how I talk through this list—with stories, client examples, and a few hard-earned lessons I’ve shared with my own kids—listen to this week’s episode of the PR Breakdown Podcast with Molly McPherson. It’s a list for grads, but it’s a reality check for anyone who deals with people, pressure, or public opinion.
And if you’re navigating a career crossroads—grad or not—I also recommend reading my friend and colleague Doug Lester’s piece Instead of Looking for The Perfect Job, Keep Moving in the Right Direction. Doug’s work with impact-driven MBAs and ambitious professionals aligns with what I tell every new grad: clarity doesn’t always come before action. Sometimes, you move forward, and the insight meets you there.
Your job isn’t to get it all right. Your job is to keep learning how to show up.
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And to Kathleen—yes, Kitty, I know I’m not supposed to call you that anymore—you’re going to crush this next chapter. I’m proud of you. And yes, I’m crying.
Thanks for the shout-out, Molly McPherson! And even when we think we've found the perfect job or situation, the world will change around us, and we'll be seeking clarity again.
This list! I am a comms director for a small public school and often share tips with our senior class, but THIS LIST has some amazing takes on surviving your "next phase," & thank you for addressing the "COVID" in the room for these students. It was a game-changer that we are still adapting to and recovering from.